Our local, week-long music festival called Homegrown recently concluded. It’s been ten years since I last played HG, which means it’s been ten years since I’ve played live at all and I’ve had that fact on my mind.

My first live gig (of mostly cover songs) as a drummer with the band Third Stone happened sometime in the summer of 1993 in the parking lot of a Burger King that’s no longer there. I continued to play drums in many other bands up until I formed my own, The Surfactants, in 2004/5. I’m pretty sure I was also playing in the bands BOTH and The State Champs at the same time. The last Surfactants gig was a bit of a reunion that happened at The Flame nightclub in Superior Wisconsin for Homegrown in 2016. I played five shows in three days that Homegrown, which included a collaboration with my friend and Surfactants bass player Eric as Dirty Knobs, and my other electro synth-noir project The Electric Witch. You can hear some of those live recordings in The Endless Compendium.

All of this happened right after I recorded some synth parts in Nashville with Mary Bue (the second singer for The Electric Witch after the original, Marcus, who also sang for The Surfactants and was the original drummer in BOTH, [are you keeping up?]) as part of her band The Holy Bones. Sounds much more glamorous than it was, I assure you.

Things kind of exploded between Nashville and Homegrown, a tale as old as time and one that’s beyond the scope of this blog and my interest in telling it, and had nothing to do with me anyway, other than being caught in the crossfire. But I was already burned out, explosion not-withstanding. Twenty-plus years of hauling drums and gear, joining, forming, and dissolving bands, recording a dozen albums, all for little more return than a couple drinks and a fun hang. Hitting the Big Time was not going to happen and I was out of fucks to give.

So here I am, almost 50, ten years since I last played live, either solo or as part of a group. It’s been wonderful. I don’t miss it. Really. I barely even go to live shows anymore. The physical sound of your average band playing an average gig at an average venue actually makes my skin crawl a little. I have no desire to go back to that fruitless struggle.

In the meantime I’ve worked to make my humble home studio just a little less humble, a more comfortable and efficient space to work in. A quiet, calm place to be in without any outside expectation. I think I’ve recorded some of my best stuff as a result.

I’d like to wrap this up with some witty return to the concept of “Homegrown” but you know what?

Who cares.